Bombarded with spam calls from “Windows Support” all day today. They’re so determined to put malware on my computer that they left three poorly-worded voicemails. The last time this happened, I told the guy I hadn’t owned a Microsoft product in fifteen years, just to see what his response would be. He couldn’t go off-script, and told me to click on the Start button. “You mean the thing that looks like a big pear with a bite out of it?” He kept telling me where to find the Control button on my keyboard.